Things Recently Learned

Ok, well if we are on the life lessons bit again, things I recently learned include: Don’t say your life is boring – because then it will get weird.

For instance I’ve since learned that I had a hit man living across the street. Yes, I did say HIT MAN!!!! It’s always a bad sign when a reporter calls late at night to ask you if you know one of your neighbors. Unfortunately I wasn’t home to take the call. Cleverly I forgot to check the next day’s paper but Dan remembered. Turns out this guy was a hit man for a gang is Puerto Rico, was living under his brother’s name – hiding out. Only his brother was murdered last week in P.R. and now he’s busted. This is wilder then Jerry Springer. Leave it to my Dad to try and put a silver lining on the cloud “A hit man isn’t that bad, it could be worse. At least he wasn’t a serial killer, those are the worst kind.”

Then, later the yard was invaded by a skunk. There is no way out of our three foot wide back yard, it is surrounded by a (attractive) chain link fence. Well we had people over that night and there was a fire in the front yard and the skunk was afraid of the fire. This is bad, caught between a skunk and a hard place. This was also a litmus test for who had drunk the most beer. Me, I made a bee-line for inside – Dan followed. Sean and Joel are out there determined to chase the skunk away despite my dire warnings that if they got sprayed they were sleeping outside with their new little friend. Somehow by the grace of, I dunno, pure luck they didn’t get sprayed – even after cornering in the shed and throwing gravel at it to try and get it to run.

As I was navigating last night for someone not familiar with my neighborhood I was marveling anew at some of the ridiculous shops in the neighborhood and wishing I could take pictures without fearing for my life. There is a home nestled into the cliff face that recently had about 50+ bathtub Virgin Marys in the front yard and all over the cliff face. I wish I had gotten a picture of that one before he was forced by the town to take them down. This is quickly followed by a small shop whose name is proudly proclaimed “STUFF – U – NEED” and the aptly named convenience store whose window is full Styrofoam heads with wigs. Cause you never know when your going to have to hit the convenience store cause you forgot your hair… I guess life is never totally boring as long as you open your eyes.